It has long been a desire of mine to translate into English a lot of the Japanese articles that have been written in magazines, etc. concerning games for the Virtual Boy that ended up never getting commercially released, since this is about the only access that we have to such games, unless their prototype cartridges happen to surface in the future and fall into the hands of one or ones who desire to dump the ROMs and release the games online for all to play. It looks like I will now have time in my life to work on such, and I hope to release all of my English translations on this thread. Now, it is important for the reader to understand that I myself do not know or speak Japanese, so I rely on the use of translation software programs such as Google Translate, SDL Free Translation, and BabelFish, as well as online Japanese-to-English dictionaries, such as Denshi Jisho – Online Japanese Dictionary. I do strongly believe that these programs allow me to create rather accurate English translations of Japanese text; nevertheless, there may still be errors on account of my lack of understanding of the Japanese language. As for the titles of certain Japanese games that never got released, I don’t know if there is any way to know what the “official” English titles would have been if they had ever gotten released in English. Nevertheless, I shall try my best to come up with what would have most likely been the English titles for these games, if they had gotten localized in North America. With that being said, the first article that I’ve translated into English appeared in the 367th issue of Famitsu Magazine, dated December 29, 1995, on page 243, and it was a write up for the unreleased game, whose title I have translated into English as “Doraemon and Nobita’s Heart-Pounding Ghostland.”
Translations for Doraemon and Nobita’s Heart-Pounding Ghostland:
バーチャルボーイ
VIRTUAL BOY
ドラえもん のび太のドキドキ！おばけランド
Doraemon and Nobita’s Heart-Pounding Ghostland
アクション
Action
カートリッジ
Cartridge
エポック社
Epoch Company
’96年発売予定
Expected Release: 1996
5500円
5,500 Yen
8メガ
8 Megabits
バーチャルボーイの機能を活かした立体的な遊園地で、ドラえもんやのび太たちが大活躍。ジェットコースターやバンジージャンプなどを使った、個性的なステージを走り回ろう。隠されたひみつ道具を捜しだして、おばけにさらわれた仲間たちを救出するのだ。
Doraemon, Nobita, and friends bustle about in a three-dimensional amusement park that takes full advantage of the Virtual Boy’s capabilities. Rush around unique stages, with roller coasters, bungee jumping, and more! Search for hidden, secret tools to rescue your buddies who have been kidnapped by ghosts!
夜の遊園地はおばけランド
The Amusement Park at Night is a Ghostland!
使用できるキャラは5人。それぞれ特徴的な攻撃ができるので、ステージごとに変えるといいぞ。
There are five different characters to choose from. Each one has its own characteristic attack, so it’s good to change characters for each stage.
ジェットコースターに乗って、おばけたちを退治しよう。
Ride a roller coaster and try to get rid of the ghosts!
©藤子・小学館・テレビ朝日
© Fujiko, Shogakukan Inc., TV Asahi Corp.
※画面は開発中のものです。
*The game’s screens are currently under development.
Japanese to English Translations for Page 1 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
Greetings
In July of 1995, the Virtual Boy hardware was released, but then, practically the next moment, it mysteriously vanished like a phantom into the darkness of history, as though it had been some sort of mistake. This tragedy of game machines, which has also been called the Hallucigenia of the game industry, still keeps tremorously shaking our optimistic mentalities, which tell us that the games are cheerful and enjoyable even now.
This is mostly a book resulting from pestering, compiled for the purpose of exposing to the full light of day the potentially shocking truth revealed from following the footprints of the Virtual Boy, which ended up being destroyed, with a small amount of material being left behind.
Beneath the Picture:
Council Chairman Ichizou Sorge at Fuji-Q Highland
ごあいさつ
95年7月、発売されたかと思うと次の瞬間
まるで何かの間違いだったかのように
歴史の闇の中に消え去った幻の怪ハード
「バーチャルボーイ」
ゲーム業界のハルキゲニアとも呼ばれた
この悲劇のゲームマシンは、今もなお
ゲームは明るく、楽しいものという
我々の甘っちょろいメンタリティを
根底から激しく揺さぶり続けずにおかない。
これは残されたわずかな資料をたよりに
滅び去ったバーチャルボーイの足跡をたどり
その秘められた衝撃の真相を、白日の下に
さらけ出すことを目的に編集された
ほとんどいやがらせの書である
富士急ハイランドにて 評議会長ゾルゲ市蔵
Japanese to English Translations for Page 2 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
In the Oval in the Upper Right:
The Shocking Truth is Now Revealed!
In the Explosion Bubble Above the Virtual Boy:
Here’s an Illustration of the
Inside of the Virtual Boy!
In the Top Rectangle with a Pointing Arrow:
It’s a literal ghost machine that kicks out not less than 35,000 MIPS, utilizing a ghost of the Heike with a grudge against Yoritomo for the CPU!
To the Right of the Old Man Looking at the Virtual Boy:
The Prophet Yape
In the 2nd from the Top Rectangle with a Pointing Arrow:
The lifeblood of a virgin is mixed into the red plastic body, so there has never been a need for it to be colored. A sobbing voice can even be heard at night.
Beneath the Emblem:
Crest of Nentendo
(Translator’s Note: I’m assuming that “Nintendo” is intentionally misspelled in accordance with what appears on page 13.)
Beneath the Man Looking at the Controller:
Professor Kepel
In the 3rd from the Top Rectangle with a Pointing Arrow:
At first glance, there is nothing unusual about the controller, but as a matter of fact, the form of the face of a rare, sacred beast belonging to Amun is cleverly hidden.
To the Left of the VB Controller-Shaped Beast’s Head:
Picture of the Face of Amun’s Rare Beast
In the Bottom Rectangle with a Pointing Arrow:
Concerning the Virtual Boy model, near Hachamarca, Peru, there is said to be a mysterious custom even now when the deceased are leaving, where those performing the custom escape from reality while wearing masks of red beasts, chewing coca leaves, and being in trance states.
今明かされる
衝撃の真相
内部図解! これが
バーチャルボーイだ!
●CPUには平家の亡霊を使用
頼朝への怨念が、Mipsで
35000以上をたたき出す
文字通りのおばけマシンだ!
預言者ヤペ
●赤いプラスティックボディには
処女の生き血が混入されており
いつまでも色Xせることはない
夜にはすすり泣くような
声も聞こえる
荏天堂の紋章
ケペル教授
●一見何の変哲もない
コントローラにも、
実はアメン信徒の聖なる
偶面獣の姿が巧妙に
隠されている。
アメン偶面獣像
●バーチャルボーイのモデルとなったペルーの奇習
「ハチャパマルカ」 赤い獣面を被り、コカの葉を噛んで
トランス状態のまま現実から逃避する
今も死亡者が出ると言われる謎の風習
Here are my Japanese to English Translations for Page 16 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition. I want to add here that I believe this is the “tribute feature” to Yokoi (who had already been killed prior to the publication of this guide) mentioned on the front cover of the guidebook, but I find this manga to be rather disturbing. I’m quite confident that I’ve translated everything accurately, in accordance with the original Japanese information, though I may have censored some of the harsh language a bit, so it’s the original information that saddens me:
Bonus Manga Ending
Yokoi Afterwards
1st Panel:
Yokoi:
Hah! Now that I’ve escaped from prison, I can take revenge on you scumbags! I must not get caught before I have my revenge!
2nd Panel:
Cop Closest to Car:
Jailbreaker Yokoi, give up already! It’s useless to run away!
Second Cop:
Come out, Yokoi!
Yokoi:
Crap!
3rd Panel:
Yokoi:
If I transfer the brains of human beings to the Virtual Boy, I ought to be able to have amazing games made!
4th Panel (Below 3rd):
Yokoi:
Mwahahaha!
Boy in Baseball Uniform:
Uggghhh!
In the Lower Left of the Panel:
Keep it up, Yokoi!
5th Panel (To the Right of 3rd and 4th Panels):
I cannot forgive those at Nentendo, who hindered my research, alleging that I was a mad scientist and having me put in prison, just because a large part of my research took away the lives of five or six people.
巻末おまけマンガ
その後の横井さん
お おれはつかまらんぞきさまらにふくしゅうするまでは……きさまらにふくしゅうするために脱獄したのだ……
脱獄囚横井もうあきらめろにげてもむだだ
でてこい横井
くそー
ころした人間の頭脳をバーチャルボーイにうつせばすばらしいゲームができるはずだったのに……
ふふふふふ
うぐぐぐ
がんばれ! 横井さん!
おれの研究をじゃました荏天堂のやつらをゆるせない大研究のためにたかが五 六人のいのちをうばったからといって刑務所にいれきちがい科学者とぬかしおった
Japanese to English Translations for Page 9 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
Urgent News Flash!
The Virtual Boy Situation in the USA
Though they were not selling the Jaguar…
In November of 1996, this magazine received the unconfirmed information that “across the sea, in Los Angeles of the USA, there were multiple releases of original Virtual Boy software not released in Japan,” so it was immediately decided to send a correspondent. As soon as our excellent magazine correspondent arrived at the location, he discovered the “Desert Hills Factory Stores,” a huge outlet mall hidden in a vast desert on the outskirts of Los Angeles, and he quickly went into the Nike shop there. He got a pair of Air Street Defenders for $9.99 and a pair of the Air Max IV (commonly called Classic BW) in metallic purple for $74.00. In addition, the correspondent who went back to Los Angeles surprisingly succeeded in getting the long-awaited Air Max 96, holiday color (commonly known as black/silver, $140), and the Air Muscle Max (another new color, $140) at NikeTown in Beverly Hills! After all, the high-tech series is the best!… Eh? Virtual Boy software? Two pieces were tucked into a corner of the Toys ‘R’ Us in Santa Monica.
19. Nester’s Funky Bowling
At first, I almost overlooked this, thinking that it was just “Virtual Bowling” with replacement characters, but in fact, it’s an entirely new work. The sounds of the pins being knocked over, even though their rates are low, are quite nice in the sampling.
Personal Rating: 64.5 / 100
Local Price: $29.99
20. 3-D Tetris
I also thought that this was the overseas edition of “V-Tetris,” but it is a completely different thing. In essence, it is “Welltris.” It’s really weird because each piece is personified. If only T&E Soft’s techniques would stop…
Personal Rating: 42.5 / 100
Local Price: $29.99
★Out of only 20 pieces of software in all, however, there are two with duplicate content! Is that normal? What were you thinking, oh great Nintendo?!
緊急速報!
米国バーチャルボーイ事情
でもジャガーは
売ってなかったの・・
●96年11月、「海を隔てた米国ロサンゼルスでは、日本未発売のオリジナル
バーチャルボーイソフトが複数発売されている」との未確認情報を
つかんだ本誌は、即座に特派員の派遣を決定した。優秀なる本誌特派員は
現地に到着するやいなや、ロサンゼルス郊外、広大な砂漠に隠された
巨大なアウトレットモール「Desert Hills Factory Stores」を探り出し、
さっそくナイキショップに突入。エアマックスIV (通称クラッシックBW)
メタリックパープル ($74) ならびに、エアストリートディフェンダー
($9.99)を入手。さらにロサンゼルスに戻った特派員は意外にも、
ビバリーヒルズのナイキタウンで、待望のエアマックス96ホリデーカラー
(通称黒銀、$140) とエアマッスルマックス (同じく新色、$140)までも
入手することに成功したのである! やっぱりハイテク系が一番だよね。
え? バーチャルボーイソフト? あったよ、サンタモニカのトイザらスの片隅に2本
19. Nester’s Funky Boaling
●最初は「バーチャルボウリング」の単なる
キャラ差し替え版かと思って見過ごしていたら、
実はまったくの新作、ピンの倒れる音が、レートは
低くてもサンプリングで鳴ってちょっとウレシイ。
独断評価 64.5
現地価格 $29.99
20. 3-D Tetris
●これまた「V-テトリス」の海岸版と思ったら
まったくの別物、要はウェルトリスなのだが
技術のT&Eソフトがよせばいいのに・・(X下略)
各ピースが擬人化されててすごくブキミ。
独断評価 42.5
現地価格 $29.99
★しかし、全部で20本しかないソフトのうち、内容が重複してるのが
2本もあるかね普通? 何を考えてるんだ、すごいぞ荏天堂!
Japanese to English Translations for Page 17 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
The Enthusiast who Came from a Cold Country
The Last Two Have Finally Appeared!
The Ultimate List Ends Here!!
For some reason, we had all of a sudden printed 300 copies of the Pikachu books for the ’97 Winter Comic Market, and we were filled with anxiety about what we would do with any remaining unsold ones, when a man appeared before this council, who was selling books with a brute force, almost like a pimp. The man, dressed in a military uniform similar to that of Stapa Saito or Space Calvary’s Commander Saito from “Farewell Yamato,” gently removed a virtual boy item from his backpack and held it before our very eyes.
“You said that you had covered all the software. Well, look at this!”
“Is… is that…?!” Really, despite the fact that it had been reviewed by Famitsu, there was no one who had seen the real thing. “But it doesn’t exist!”
“Wrong, there was confirmatory information at the end, claiming it had been witnessed once in Hokkaido!”
It could not be “SD Gundam Dimension War,” the software of dreams that had been talked about almost as if it were a UFO or Tsuchinoko or the like! In order to express his gratitude to this council, which claimed the theory of “non-existence” at the last Comic Market, he said that he took the trouble to bring it to the venue! Oh, how obsessive an enthusiast’s tenacity must be! (Mr. U., thank you very much for the information.) And so, with the inclusion of the last overseas software, “Waterworld,” which we could not introduce in the first edition, the final two clinchers have been added, like the emotional end to a drama, and this book is now complete! (Just a bit of deep emotion.) By the way, it seems you really did find it in Hokkaido. Why wasn’t there such a thing in Kushiro?
21. SD Gundam Dimension War
Though I got some information, I did not write a review because I have not gotten the real thing. So frustrating! If you know someone who has any available, please contact me at okano@yk.rim.or.jp. I will buy one for 10000 yen… yes, that’s correct.
Personal Rating: ???
I DON’T HAVE ONE!
The following is overseas-edition software. There was also some rather hot stuff in the drama until I got this. I can’t introduce it all due to the amount of page space, but I’ll mention the suspicious-looking foreigner, my second Vectrex, four copies of “Mansion of Insmouse” purchased by hand for barter, dollar bills hidden in a shoe box….
22. Waterworld
As if dealing a finishing blow to that major folly of a movie, starring Kevin Costner, aka “future middle-aged Kevin,” this one stands out from numerous software by offering a single piece of music and screen design. The game content resembles a 3D River Patrol, but without having even a fraction of the amount of different scenes.
Personal Rating: 30.5 / 100
Local Price: $25.00
寒い国から来たマニア
ついに登場、最後の2本!
究極リストここに完結!!
なぜかいきなりピカチュウの本を300部も刷ってしまい、売れ残ったらどうしようと
不安でいっぱいだった97冬コミ。まるでポン引きのような強引な客引きで本を売りつけている
当評議会の前に現れた一人の男。「さらばヤマト」の空間騎兵隊隊長斎藤とスタパ斉藤を
足して4をかけたような軍服姿その男は、おもむろに背嚢からバーチャルボーイを取り出し、
筆者に突きつけるのだった。「全ソフトを網羅したと言ったな。これを見ろ!」
「こ、これは!?」
そう、これこそファミ通でレビューされたにも関わらず、実物を見たものはなく「実在しない!」
「いや、北海道でー度目撃されたという末確認情報が!」などとほとんどUFOかツチノコのように
語られていた幻のソフト、「SDガンダム ディメンションウォー」ではないか! 前回のコミケ
にて「実在しない」説を主張していた当評議会を礼すため、わざわざ会場まで持ってきたと
言うのだ! お、おそるべし! マニアの執念。(Uさん、資料どうもありがとうございました。)
というわけで、初版で紹介できなかった最後の海外ソフト「water world」も加えたトドメの2本
さながらドラマのような感動的なオチがついて、これでこの本も完壁だ! (ちょっと感動)
ところで本当に北海道で見つけたらしいけど、何で釧路にこんなモノがあったわけ?
21. SDガンダム ディメンションウォー
●資料はもらったけど実物を入手したわけじゃない
のでレビューは書きません。ああくやしい。きゅー
もし持ってる人がいたらokano@yk.rim.or.jpまで
ご連絡ください。10000円で買い取るぜええ。
独断評価 ???
持ってない!
こっちが海外版幻ソフト。これを手にするまでのドラマにもなかなか熱いモノがあった。
紙数の都合で紹介できないけど、変なガイジンとの筆談、二台目の光速船、バーター用に
手分けして購入した4本の「インスマウスの魔」、靴箱に隠して送ったドル札・・・・
22. WATER WORLD
●ケビン・コスナー主演の大コケ映画、別名
「未来中年ケビン」に止めを刺すかのような一品
音楽と画面処理は数あるソフトの中でも群を抜くが
3Dリバーパトロールみたいなゲーム内容の
ショボさ加減も半端じゃない。
独断評価 30.5
現地価格 $25.00
Japanese to English Translations for Page 10 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
At the Very Top:
Special Sneak-In Interview
In the Explosion Bubble:
Nintendo Co., Ltd.’s General Manager,
Yamato, an Extremely Good Guy!
In the Oval:
“I am deity!
I send those who
oppose me to hell!”
Beneath the Illustration:
(General Manager Yamato talking feverishly to the interviewer)
Interviewer: “So, it didn’t sell well.”
Manager Yamato: “Grrrrrr!” (with his eyes menacingly glaring)
Interviewer: “Although the initial target was 3,000,000 units in the first year, there is, in fact, information indicating that not even 300,000 units came out.”
Manager Yamato: “Raughh! Grrrrrr!” (sullenly chewing a chicken’s neck with his sharp fangs)
Interviewer: “I heard that Mr. Yokoi, the developer, was held accountable and got sacrificed to an evil giant monkey god.”
Manager Yamato: “Mppphhh…” (With a cruel smile, he points to a skeleton hanging from the ceiling of the cave.)
Interviewer: “Even so, I haven’t heard good talk these days, what with the departure of Square and the great folly of the Satellaview.”
Manager Yamato: “Ooh ooh ahh ahh!” (suddenly attacks the interviewer)
Interviewer: “Oh, no! Aaahhh!” (gunshots, screams)
(After the incident, the tape, which stopped recording here, was found, along with scraps of the interviewer’s clothing.)
◎特別潜入インタビュー
(株) 荏天堂
山肉社長激白!
「オレは神だ!!
逆らうヤツは
地獄に送ってやる!」
(インタビュアーに熱弁を振るう山肉社長)
●インタビュアー 「売れませんでしたね。」
◎山肉社長 「ガルルル!」(威嚇するように目を剥いてみせる)
●インタビュアー 「当初の目標は初年度300万台とのことでしたが、実際は
30万台も出なかったらしいという情報もあります。」
◎山肉社長 「ガルッ! ガルルル!」(不機嫌そうにするどい牙でニワトリの首を噛みちぎる)
●インタビュアー 「開発者の横井さんは責荏をとらされて邪神ケべべモモンガの
生贄にされたそうですが」
◎山肉社長 「グフフフ・・」 (残虐な笑みを浮かべて、洞窟の天井から
ぶらさがった白骨を指し示す。)
●インタビュアー 「それにしてもサテラビューの大コケ、スクウェアの離反と、
このところいい話を聞きませんね。」
◎山肉社長 「ググ・・ググ・・グギャオー!」 (突如インタビュアーに襲いかかる)
●インタビュアー 「うひゃあああっ!」 (銃声、悲鳴)
(事件後インタビュアーの衣服の切れ端とともに発見されたテープはここで録音が途絶えていました)
Note: I’m not sure if I got all of the Japanese characters right, but I think I got the gist of the whole thing.
Japanese to English Translations for Page 11 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
1st Panel:
He has an ape-like appearance, is ferocious, and can speak in human language.
2nd Panel:
I’ve heard that the monster has been secretly confined at Nintendo for a long time….
3rd Panel:
Man Facing to the Back:
I personally refer to he who is Manager as “Yamato,” but his first name is actually “Satoshi.”
Man Facing to the Front:
Satoshi… Hmmm…
4th Panel:
In troubled times like these, the hearts of the people grow dim. It’s about time that something be done about this monstrosity.
If I had fearsome power, I’d like to get into the game industry and bring about a war.
5th Panel:
Do you desire to know my name, I who stand not before your eyes?
6th Panel:
Who… who are you……? Wh…… where…
7th Panel:
What’s wrong with your speech? Do you fear a dangerous exchange?
8th Panel:
Ishii, you’ve come at last…
9th Panel:
I am Manager Yamato!
猿のような姿をして性は凶暴しかも人語をXします
荏天堂に古くから妖怪が封じこめられているということはきいておりますが……
みずから山肉社長と名のって人をXわしますが本当の名はびしきというのです
びしき……
乱世には人の心も莱み この怪物には老好の時なのです
恐ろしい力をもっていますがゲーム業界に入りこんで戦乱をおこさせるのを好みます
おまえの目の前にいるではないかわしの名が知りたいか?
だ…だれです……? ど……どこに….
どうした口がきけんのかわしが恐ろしいか
やっときたな石井
わしが山肉社長だ。
Japanese to English Translations for the Back Cover Page of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
「にんじん、にんじん」じぶんの赤毛をからかわれたアンはかっとなって手にしたバーチャルボーイでギルバートの顔面に一撃を喰らわせました「偉大なる荏天堂を、親愛なる山肉さまを侮辱する奴はこうだっ!」まわりの子供たちは、あまりの異常な展開に声も出ません。「もしや、アンの」頭脳にはすでにFXチップが?」ダイアナの胸に、戦慄が走りました。
Anne, who was being made fun of for being a redhead, being called “Carrot! Carrot!”, flew into a rage, struck a blow to Gilbert’s face with Virtual Boy in hand, and shouted, “This is the guy who insults dear Yamato and the great Nintendo!” No voice could be heard from the surrounding children on account of such an abnormal development.
日本ヌニメーション
Nippon Nunimation
「バーチャルボーイ追悼記念ガイドブック」
Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook
発行 東洋バフォメット評議会
Issued By: Toyo Baphomet Council
1997年7月15日初版発行
First Edition Issued on July 15, 1997
1998年1月31日改訂第ニ版発行
Revised Second Edition Issued on January 31, 1998
印刷所 木内印刷
Printing Office: Kiuchi Printing
(乱丁、落丁がありましたら、気にしないで下さい)
(If there is a mistake or missing item, please don’t worry about it.)
Japanese to English Translations for Page 12 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
これが
荏天堂本社だ!
This is Nintendo Headquarters!
(想像)
(Imaginary)
驚異の科学力と冷徹な牙を持って
ゲーム業界完全支配をもくろむ恐るべき組織
「荏天堂」の本社は、一般には京都にあると
され、愛想の悪い社員や、堅気には見えない役員
などで広く知られているが、それらは
あくまで世間を欺くカモフラージュにすぎない。
The headquarters of the dreadful organization “Nintendo,” which intends to take complete control of the game industry with its amazing scientific power and cool-headedness, is generally said to be in Kyoto. Although it is widely known for employees who are unfriendly and officers who don’t seem to be respectable, these are mere camouflage to deceive the world to the utmost.
「荏天堂」の真の本社。世界中の悪党がその名を
聞いただけで震え上がるという邪悪の聖地は
悪疫や猛獣のひしめくアマゾンの奥地、
年間を通じて厚い雷雲に包まれ、衛星軌道からも
その姿を窺うことのできない「ウテギ・ミュグ」
(現地語で死の台地の意) に、難攻不落の科学
要塞としてその威容を誇っているのだ!
The true headquarters of “Nintendo” is a sacred place of evil that is said to cause ruffians all over the world to tremble just from hearing its name. Located deep in the interior of the Amazon, which is filled with pestilences and wild animals, it is shrouded by thick thunderclouds throughout the year. It boasts of its magnificence as an impenetrable scientific fortress in “Utegi Myugu” (meaning “Plateau of Death” in the local language), which cannot be seen from satellite orbit!
いままでに、高橋名人やアレックスキッドなど
何人もが、その秘密を探ろうとして帰らなかった
この恐怖の城では、日夜世界のゲーム界を牛耳る
ありとあらゆる邪悪な策謀が練られ、ヌリオや
ドンキーコングに代表されるような、血に飢えた
恐ろしい怪人どもが次々と開発されているのだ。
Up to now, nobody, including Master Takahashi and Alex Kidd, has returned from trying to find out the secrets of this fortress of terror, in which all kinds of evil plots are devised day and night, in order to bring the whole gaming world under its thumb, and in which terrifying monsters thirsty for blood, such as are represented by Mario and Donkey Kong, are being developed one after another.
全ての社員は記憶を奪われ、山肉社長への
絶対的忠誠をインプットした特殊なFXチップを
脳に埋め込まれている。
Every employee is deprived of memory and has a special FX chip embedded in the brain, which inputs absolute loyalty to Manager Yamato.
開発に失敗すれば死あるのみ、改造手術の
実験台か、地下で喬く魔獣ヨッシーの餌食だ!
If one fails to develop, there is only death, whether one becomes a test subject for reconstructive surgery or else the prey of the Yoshi monsters in the undergrounds!
でも給料いいらしいよ
Still, the salary seems to be good.
Japanese to English Translations for Page 13 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
極秘!!
内部図解
Top Secret!!
Internal Illustration
山肉社長を操る
ナゾの光
Mysterious light manipulating Manager Yamato
社員に指令を
与える山肉社長
Manager Yamato giving orders to employees
荏天堂に魂を
売った開発者
Developers who sold their souls to Nintendo
渋谷と羽田に
ロックオンされた
細菌ミサイル
Bacterial missiles
locked on to
Shibuya and Haneda
ヌリオを越える強力な
怪人を開発する研究室
人の出入りが激しいらしい
There appears to be a heavy entering and exiting of laboratory people, who are developing a mysterious person more powerful than Mario.
失敗作として
捨てられる
ルイージ
Luigi being thrown away as a failed creative work
ヌリオ
Mario
リンク
Link
ドンキーコングの秘密を
知っているために
地底に幽閉されている
池上通信機社長
Ikegami Tsushinki’s company president imprisoned in the depths of the earth for knowing the secrecy behind Donkey Kong.
中央原子炉
(64ビット)
Central nuclear reactor
(64-bit)
地下で死肉をむさぼる
ヨッシーとカービイ
Yoshis and Kirby greedily devouring dead flesh in the undergrounds
イラスト
南村 喬死
Illustration by
Takashi Minamimura
Japanese to English Translations for Page 14 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
Diagram of Nintendo’s Organizational Structure (Imaginary)
Corporate Philosophy:
Annihilate all opposition!
Eliminate all traitors!
Whittle down all kids’ money!
I. President X
(Voice: Gorō Naya)
He came to Earth riding a meteor three thousand years ago. He is a man of mystery, who manipulates Manager Yamato and is said to hold the real power of Nintendo in the shadows. No one has seen his true form.
II. Manager Yamato
(Voice: Hekiru Shiina)
He is a demonic being who is half man, half beast. He appears from a fog, emanates a strange voice, and disappears with a black smoke curtain. His body firmly repels shurikens. He’s from New Guinea.
III. Nintendo’s Ghost Corps
A. Gunpei Yokoi
Although he was known as one of Nintendo’s best skilled managers, he was held accountable for the development of the Virtual Boy and was executed by Manager Yamato.
i. Luigi
III. Nintendo’s Bodyguard Corps
B. Sekiya
Nintendo’s former food delivery man. By poisoning employees one after another, he has established his current position as head of Nintendo’s Monster Army Corps.
i. Link
ii. Mario
iii. Donkey Kong
(These two struggle to take credit over each other)
III. Nintendo’s Revenant Corps
C. Count Brocken
This Nazi demonic officer, whose head got blown off by a blast, was resurrected by Manager Yamato. He loves to torment children.
i. Princess Peach
荏天堂組織構成図 (想像)
社訓
逆らう奴等は皆殺し!
裏切り者は消せ!
ガキの金は残らず絞れ!
総裁X
(声 納谷悟朗)
三千前に流星に乗って
地球にやって来た。
山肉社長を操り、陰で荏天堂の
実権を握ると言われるナゾの男、
その真の姿を見たものはいない。
山肉社長
(声 椎名へきる)
半人半獣の魔人。奇声を発して
霧の中から現れ、黒い煙幕をはって
消える。体は固く手裏剣をはじく
ニューギニア出身
荏天妖魔隊
横井軍平
荏天堂随一の智将と
呼ばれていたが、
バーチャルボーイ開発の
責任をとらされて
山肉社長に処刑される。
ルイージ
荏天親衛隊
関谷
荏天堂の元給食配達人。
社員を次々毒殺して
現在の地位を築いた
荏天怪人軍団
リンク
ヌリオ
ドンキーコング
手柄を争い反目
荏天幽鬼隊
ブロッケン伯爵
ナチスの鬼将校が爆風で
首を飛ばされたものを
山肉社長がよみがえらせた。
子供をいじめるのが大好き。
ピーテ姫
Japanese to English Translations for Page 15 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition (Note: I cannot conclusively figure out the meaning of the rest of the sentence portion following the remark about Dragon Quest, so I’ve decided not to translate any of that portion of the sentence):
In Conclusion
The Virtual Boy disappeared in just one year, at the same time as the 100th anniversary year of the birth of Kenji Miyazawa. As for it having a reputation somewhere, which overlaps with the poet who passed away in disappointment, there is no such thing. Mention of its accomplishments isn’t to be found anywhere.
It would be almost as impossible as finding a connection with Saint-Exupéry, a poet who similarly disappeared, namely into the sky as a pilot. It would be better to try to inquire into the parting of the female writer Montgomery, who still captures the hearts of girls all over the world with “Anne of Green Gables,” yet doing so is a mistake from the start. (So I don’t.)
What’s the matter with Nintendo recently anyway? Even the newly released Mustached Man 64 all of a sudden has a large amount of extra copies, and it’s also likely that Dragon Quest will be leaving.
Well, at any rate, the Virtual Boy seems to have been abounding with an amazing, retro-futuristic style, which in some respects was what led to the vanishing of the “Vectrex” hardware, which before had similarly disappeared in an instant.
From the Virtual Boy’s pretentious appearance to its cheap 4-color LED display, everything seemed to be the crystallization of a science boy’s aspirations. Its simple style can still bring tears to one’s eyes, or maybe that’s just because one’s eyes are getting tired.
Virtual Boy,
Thank you for daring to dream.
And now, goodbye…
おわりに
宮沢覧治の生誕100年と時を同じうして、わずか
一年の間に消滅したバーチャルボーイ。そこには
才能の慢めきを見いだされることなく、失意のうちに
世を去った詩人とどこか重なり合うイメージがあるかと
いえば、そんなことはまるでありません。
同じく空へ消えた飛行家にして詩人、サンテグジュペリ
とのつながりを見いだすこともほとんど無理でしょう。
「赤毛のアン」で、今も世界中の少女の心をとらえて
離さない女流作家モンゴメリに至っては、引き合いに
出す方がそもそも間違いです。(じゃあ出すなよ)
それにしても最近の荏天堂はどうしたというのでしょう。
新発売のヒゲオヤジ64もいきなり大量に余ってますし
ドラクエも逃げだしそうだし、ホントザマ見ろという
感じですがひひひひいい気味だ。えー、それにつけても
バーチャルボーイには、かつて同じように瞬間に消えた
幻のハード「べクトレックス」 (光速船) に通づる
どこかおどろおどろしい、レトロフューチャーな
テイストが満ち溢れていたような気がします。
その仰々しい外観も、チープな4色LED表示も、すベてが
かつての科学少年のあこがれの結晶のようで、
その素朴な味わいにはつい涙が出てしまいます、
単に目が疲れるからだけなのかもしれませんが
バーチャルボーイ。
ボクらに夢をありがとう
そして、さ・よ・う・な・ら
Japanese to English Translations for Page 20 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
A Bit of a Column
Mourning the Death of Mr. Yokoi
An enthusiast such as you, who would buy a book like this, is probably already well-aware that Mr. Gunpei Yokoi, the creator of the Virtual Boy, passed away from a traffic accident last year. At the time of this council’s first edition, we severely made fun of “Mr. Yokoi,” but if he had really died, we wouldn’t have joked about it.
At this late point in time, it is not for us to offer thinly pleasant words of condolence or praise; nevertheless, we were all once wrapped up in video games, and we do not feel that the last of tender fantasies has been lost with Mr. Yokoi’s death.
Presenting “Robot and Ray Gun,” a “fantasy for the future” that is optimistic, a little comical and ridiculous, but also somewhat heartrending, and it has representation by the Virtual Boy!
We feel that there surely was, for a certain period of time, a happy era, when video games were being established as commodities, when there existed the possibility that anything was possible, that there was nothing that couldn’t be done.
There now no longer seems to be anyone whose heart pounds for a modern so-called “next generation console,” which offers several thousand times more performance, or anyone who embraces a fantasy for such.
What got lost in the process of establishing games as an industry was, paradoxically, Mr. Yokoi; hence, it may even be said that his death was planned.
In this corner of the world that says “to hell with fantasies,” these authors are currently serving a messiah. Mr. Yokoi, you who do not merely have a passing acquaintance with paradise, may you rest in peace, but also please watch over this world’s future jointly with these writers.
We hope that one of us will find the horizon of a new fantasy that goes beyond nostalgia.
A “Destroy All” Manga
1st Panel:
Rrrawr!
Rampage, Pikachu!
2nd Panel:
My dream has finally come true! I now have a Pokémon that moves as I desire!
3rd Panel:
With this, I’ll defeat any foolish little runt who doesn’t buy a Virtual Boy in one blow!
Re-release Edition’s Postscript
In no way did we originally think that this book would require a re-release. We’ve condensed quite a bit of information onto 4 pages, so it’s quite tight this time. We feel that the content now makes up the definitive edition. By the way, the Toyo Baphomet Council’s homepage is located at http://www.yk.rim.or.jp/〜okano. We have a lot of information there, so please don’t hesitate.
ちょっとスかしたコラム
横井さんの死を悼む
こんな本を買ってしまうようなマニアの方は既に充分ご承知でしょうが
バーチャルボーイの生みの親である横井軍兵さんが、昨年交通事故で
亡くなられました。当評議会も初版の時には「横井さん」としてさんざん
おちょくりましたが、本当に死んでしまってはシャレにもなりません。
いまさら薄っペらい弔辞や賛辞を並べる柄でもないのですが、筆者は
かつてTVゲームを包んでいた、やわらかな幻想の最後が横井さんの死で
失われたような気がしてなりません。
「ロボット」や「光線銃」。そして「バーチャルボーイ」に代表される、
楽天的で、ちょっと胡散臭くて滑稽で、でもどこか切ない「未来への幻想」。
何ができるというわけでもないのに、何かができそうだという可能性自体が、
TVゲームを商品として成立させていた幸せな時代が、ある時期たしかに
存在したような気がします。
性能的には数千倍にもなった現代のいわゆる「次世代機」に、もはや
そうした幻想を抱き、胸をときめかせる人はいないでしょう。
ゲームが産業として成立する過程で失ったもの、それが横井さんであり
逆説的に、ゆえに彼の死は予定されたものだったとすら言えるかも知れません。
もはや幻想もヘッタクレもないこの世界の片隅で、現在筆者達もメシを食わせて
もらっています。一面識もない天国の横井さん、安らかになんて言えませんが、
どうか筆者達とともにこの世界の行く末を見守っていて下さい。
願わくば郷愁を踏み越えた新たな幻想の地平を我等いずれかが見出さんことを。
ガォー
あばれろピカチュウ
いまこそおれのゆめがかなったおれのおもうとおりにうごくポケモンを手にいれたからだ
これでバーチャルボーイを買わないおろかなチビッ子たちもイチコロだ!
すべて台無しにするマンガ
再販版あとがき。
まさかこの本に再販がかかる
とは思いませんでした。
4ページにかなりの情報を
凝縮しましたので今回相当
せせこましいですが、これぞ
決定版という内容になったと
思います。ところで
東洋バフォメット評議会
ホームページ
http://www.yk.rim.or.jp/〜okano
なんてのを作りましたので
よろしくね。
Japanese to English Translations for Page 21 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
After successfully submitting this book…
Man on left:
So, there’ll be 4 pages worth of loss!
Man on right:
Oh, shoot!
But with the A5 version, 20 pages cost just as much as 24 pages!
Below the panel:
… so from here, the compilation becomes extended in a hurry.
It’s suddenly business trip corner: Once again, obscure Pikachu goods!
(This didn’t make it in time for the resale version.)
Pikaki Gum of Mystery
In the voice bubble:
I am often mistaken for Pikachu, but I’m the genuine article!
At Nippori’s shopping street, at a wholesale small-time candy store, among the sauced rice crackers and soda pop confectioneries for sale, there was also imitation brand candy.
At first glance, it looks deceptively like the electric mouse, but when looking closely, it has a shaven head with no ears, like a seal. Also, lightning bolts, similar to those of motorcycle gangs appearing in manga, run along the forehead and cheeks. Moreover, the meaning behind the catchword “mystery” is unknown. (Sure, the presence of it is indeed strange, but also, what on earth is it claiming to be?) Copyright checks these days must be stringent, as it says that it is indeed a megaton class item. The taste is amazing, but even more amazing is the color, where it seems that Yellow No. 4 (?) got pounded in like crazy to make a very yellowy yellow gum, and every time I chew it, my mouth gets dyed an amazingly yellow color. And, wow, is it ever a cheap sweet! After all, it’s an imitation brand! Oh heck, I paid just 410 yen for such a desperate thing… (Since they weren’t selling loose articles, I bought a box of 50 pieces.)
●But the most amazing thing is that this picture is actually a full CG image specially made in lieu of the real thing, which everyone in the workplace has eaten from and messed up.
♥Also, the second edition of the “Pikachu Large Encyclopedia” is now on sale. Wow!♥
無事入稿終わって・・・
じゃ4ページ損じゃん!
しまった!
あの一A5版だと20ページは24ページ分の料金になるんですけど。
・・・というわけでここから急遽延長編です
突然出張コーナー、ピカチュウ暗黒グッズ再び!
(再販版に間に合わなかった)
謎のピカキーガム
ボク、ピカキー
よく間違えられる
けど、ボクが
ホンモノだよ!
日暮里の駄菓子問屋街にて、
ソースせんべいやラムネ菓子に混じって
売られていた強烈なパチモノ。
一見デンキネズミを装っているがよく見ると
耳がなく、アザラシのような坊主頭。
マンガに出てくる暴走族のような
イナズマが額とホッペタに走っている。
おまけに意味不明のキャッチコピー
「ふしぎ」(いや、たしかに存在自体が
不思議だけど一体誰に何を主張しているんだ。)
までが入っているという、版権チェックの
厳しい今日、まさにメガトン級のアイテム。
味もすごいが更に凄いのは色、黄色4号 (?) を
狂ったようにぶちこんだらしいまっ黄っ黄の
ガムが、噛みしめるごとに口中を妖しく黄色に
染め上げる。おお! これぞ駄菓子!
これぞパチモノ! ああ、こんな下らないモノに
410円も払ってしまったオレって一体・・・
(バラ売りしてくんなかったから、
50個入り一箱買った)
●でも一番凄いのはこの写真が実は
職場のみんなで食い散らかしてしまった実物の
代わりにわざわざ提造したフルCGだという点かも
♥「ピカチュウ大百科」第二版は好評発売中でちゅー♥
Japanese to English Translations for Page 3 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
World’s Extinct Species Series
Virtual Boy
List of All Software
(As of August 1996)
1. Mario’s Tennis
It’s interesting that what was (seemingly) being pushed around launch time was made into legit software, but it’s a shame that it doesn’t really seem to be fitting for the Virtual Boy.
Personal Rating: 74.5 / 100
Akihabara’s Price: 300 Yen
2. Galactic Pinball
Ultra cool digital pinball! It’s sweet as a simulation, but it’s also a game that can be conveniently enjoyed while lying on a bed. I honestly recommend this one!
Personal Rating: 92.5 / 100
Akihabara’s Price: 300 Yen
3. Teleroboxer
Well, this one’s definitely fitting for the Virtual Boy. The throw-away characters, as well as finding out the method and purpose of knocking them down, are at least worth a look. Heck, at 10 yen apiece, buy it! Buy 2 copies even!
Personal Rating: 24.5 / 100
Akihabara’s Price: 10 Yen
世界の絶滅動物シリーズ
バーチャルボーイ
全ソフト一覧
(96年8月現在)
1. マリオズテニス
●発売時に一押しだった (らしい) ソフト
ちゃんと作ってあって面白いので、あまり
バーチャルボーイらしくないのが残念だ。
独断評価 74.5
秋葉価格 ￥300
2. ギャラクティックピンボール
●超クールなデジピン。シミュレーション
としては甘いが、ベッドに寝転がって楽し
めるお手軽なー本。素直にオススメ。
独断評価 92.5
秋葉価格 ￥300
3. テレロボクサー
●これぞバーチャルボーイ! 転倒した手段
と目的、なげやりなキャラクターは一見の
価値あり。10円なら買いだ! 2本買え!
独断評価 24.5
秋葉価格 ￥10
Japanese to English Translations for Page 4 of the Virtual Boy Memorial Commemorative Guidebook, Revised Second Edition:
4. Red Alarm
A 3D shooter that has been made by introducing all of T&E Soft’s techniques that it has on its side. It’s a shame that this company’s efforts have been mostly wasted, such as with “Laydock 2” and “Virtual Hydlide.”
Personal Rating: 90.5
Akihabara’s Price: 300 Yen
5. T&E Virtual Golf
This is also very well-made. However, I feel sorry for the development staff who made something like this for the Virtual Boy. It feels like seeing scientists who made atomic bombs for Nazis.
Personal Rating: 75.5
Akihabara’s Price: 300 Yen
6. Vertical Force
After Star Soldier, Hudson Group boasts a traditional vertical shooter. It has several noteworthy points, such as the option to equip AI Drones that flee from and abandon your ship, as well as strangely made enemy bullets that cannot be seen at all against the lovely backgrounds.
Personal Rating: 68.5
Akihabara’s Price: 300 Yen
7. Pop-Out! Panic Bomber
A falling block game that I never heard of anyone interested in making except Hudson. That irresistible helpless feeling can even be enjoyed with the Virtual Boy! The stereoscopic background that invites mistakes is also the best!
Personal Rating: 10.5
Akihabara’s Price: 50 Yen
4. レッドアラーム
●技術のT&Eソフトが、よせばいいのに持てる
技術の全てを投入して作ってしまった3Dシュー
「レイドック2」「バーチャルハイドライド」
など、この会社の努力は大抵無駄に終わってる。
独断評価 90.5
秋葉価格 ￥300
5. T&E ヴァーチャルゴルフ
●これも出来自体は大変すばらしい。しかし
気の毒なのはこんなものをバーチャルボーイ用に
作ってしまった開発スタッフで、まるでナチスの
ために原爆を作らされた科学者を見るような
気がする。
独断評価 75.5
秋葉価格 ￥300
6. バーチカルフォース
●スターソルジャー以降、縦シューの伝統を誇る
ハドソンガ、よせばいいのに作ってしまった怪作
敵の弾がまるで見えない美しい背景や自機を見捨
てて逃げるAI搭載のオプションなど見所が多い。
独断評価 68.5
秋葉価格 ￥300
7. とびだせ！パニボン
●作ったハドソン以外誰も面白いうのを
聞いたことのない落ちゲーが、バーチャルボーイ
でも楽しめるという、どうしようもない脱力感が
たまらない。ミスを誘う立体的な背景も最高!
独断評価 10.5
秋葉価格 ￥50
